Moore, Moore, Moore

Rotherham United vs Southend, Sat 12th August 2017. 5(five!)-0

The day of the first home game of the 2017-2018 season dawned bright and sunny in Malaga, Spain, where we stupidly found ourselves. At the magnificent New York Stadium the boys would be stepping out on the hallowed turf at 3pm, while we would be driving somewhere in Western Spain. Very annoying.

At breakfast, Nobody puts grandma in a corner

The big beast

En route past Torremelinos and Marbella we got the team news. Unchanged from the Lincoln victory in midweek. So a front two of Moore and Proctor. We nodded wisely, good choice by Paul Warne.

By the time the lads exited the Wilfreda Beehive, we were running around Conil in 30 degree heat trying to find a bank. By the time we kicked off we were half way to Zahora with hardly any phone charge between us, and needing one for the sat nav. 'Have a look at the score Vicky', I asked when we were on a long stretch with no directions. 'Oh my god, 2-0!' Came The reply. 'Both scored by Keiffer 'Gareth Bale' Moore'. By the time we arrived at Zahora Joe Newell had made it three.

We did a couple of circuits around the narrow lanes before finding the house, and by that time Keiffer Moore had bagged his hat-trick. Half time had come and Rotherham United were leading 4-0. Ian's phone buzzed with a text from Wooly. It was wonderful he said, marvellous football he said, like watching Brazil he said. Another text came in, this time from Chris. What a game to miss he said. 'Idiots' they were both thinking.

We had just had time to gain entry when it was 5-0, this time Ryan 'ibrahimovich' Williams. We were starting to think we could win this! The team obviously decided to defend their lead from then as no more goals were scored. Full time came and we had beaten Southend, last years 7th placed team, 5-0.

The victory had moved us up to seventh place in the league, and it seems Paul Warne had the same idea as me. Successful managers don't wear track suits on the touch line, you never see Conti in one.